10 Controversial Stories From R*dd*t This Month That Split The Crowd

The great citizens of the internet are always quick to give their opinion whether they were asked to or not. In r/AmItheA**hole, all opinions are welcome as people share their stories to figure out if they’re in the wrong. However, sometimes the situations are more complicated than that and it splits the crowd. Here are some of the most controversial stories from Reddit that made us think twice about who to side with

1. They Are Prioritizing Their Son’s Dog Over Their Wife’s Pregnancy

When my son (14) was 8, we got a dog. He’s half Great Dane and half some dog my friend’s dog met during an unauthorized absence. My son loves this dog and does all the care for him (except vet stuff) and is a very responsible dog owner. This dog is pretty much his best friend.

My wife is 12 weeks pregnant, and ever since we confirmed the pregnancy she has been acting weird around the dog. She avoids him, puts her hands over her stomach when he is around, and jolts whenever he makes noise. Today she told me she wants to re-home the dog. I asked her what she was talking about.

She said she has been having anxiety that he will jump on her. This is completely unreasonable. He doesn’t jump on people. We trained him not to jump on people or run into people very young because he is half Great Dane and I felt this was important for all dogs, but especially one who could possibly grow to such a large size (which he did). There is no reason for her to think the dog will jump on her.

She said that there is no way to know for sure that the dog won’t jump on her, and if he does our baby could be hurt. This dog has never so much as growled at her. She said even if the dog doesn’t jump on her, her anxiety about it is bad for her health. She said she needs the dog elsewhere for her safety and the baby’s.

I told her that there was no way. My son got this dog right after he lost his mom and imprinted on him hard. Sometimes I think he loves the dog more than me! I’m not taking his dog. The dog didn’t do anything!

My wife said I am prioritizing the dog over her pregnancy. The dog isn’t a threat to her pregnancy. If this were any other unreasonable request, I would just do it because she is pregnant. I just can’t break my son’s heart over a fear she has that makes no sense. Am I being an a**hole?

2. They Didn’t Ask Their Kids To Come To Their Wedding After They RSVP’d ‘No‘

My kids were young when I left their mother. She decided that she preferred the company of another man to mine.

I was heartbroken and humiliated but I dealt fairly in the divorce. My alimony and child support were set and I never missed one payment or a chance to spend time with my kids. Beyond our scheduled time together I did all the dad stuff. I came to see them perform in school plays and play sports. If they wanted to talk I made myself available. I never spoke about their mother other than to say she was a good mom and they were lucky to have her.

When she remarried my alimony ended but obviously not the child support. She had another kid with her husband.

When my kids were 18 and 17 their mom was diagnosed with cancer and it was very aggressive. She ended up needing a lot of expensive treatment and it ended her marriage. He left because of the debts and he could not care for her. I don’t really know more than that.

She didn’t make it five years. I felt bad at the time, but it had nothing to do with me anymore. I had just become engaged to my fiancee. I sent my kids invitations to my wedding. It was just small in my back yard. They both said they would not be attending and that I was heartless for getting married just two months after their mom died. I said that I understood their grief and that I hoped they changed their minds. And then I dropped it.

I got married on Saturday and my kids found out. They called me and said I was a d*ck for not postponing my wedding or at least calling to ask them to come.

I just said that they knew the time and place and I would have made room for them and had food if they had shown up.

They are both p***ed at me but I don’t think I’m wrong for not changing my plans over the death of a woman I divorced over a decade ago.

Edit. Sorry. I forgot and it is important. The invitations were sent before she died.

My kids are in university. I do not live in the same city as them. From the moment their mom went into hospice care I checked in on them every day. Sometimes a call but usually a text. We didn’t always connect but we did connect.

The invitations went out four months before the wedding. We planned the wedding to happen over the winter break so my kids and my new wife’s children could attend. We saw the kids at Thanksgiving and we had a long cry together over their mother.

They sent their RSVP just a few days after their mom passed away.

I think that answers most questions.

3. They Refuse To Let Their Twin Be A Bridesmaid At Their Wedding

I (25F) have a fraternal twin sister and am getting married next fall.

We were very close growing up until high school. She was an outgoing bubbly cheerleader and I was a shy nerdy bookworm, so she ditched me for the popular kids. She didn’t actively pick on me but she’d stand by with her head down and do nothing when they bullied me. She would talk to and hang out with me at home as if nothing was wrong, but when at school or at the mall where kids at our school were likely to be seen, she didn’t want to be seen with me.

When we turned 16 she had a big bash, but I didn’t have any friends so didn’t want to try and have a party; our parents were making her include me, but she discreetly offered me $100 to pretend I was sick. I took the money [because] I really didn’t want to go to a party where I’d at best be ignored, or worse, picked on.

We went to separate colleges across the country from each other. She tried to keep in touch but I ignored her because I was very traumatized at losing my sister/best friend. I would be polite to her at home during school breaks but kept her at arm’s-length.

Anyway, I don’t want her to be a bridesmaid (let alone maid of honor; my parents thought it’d be a good “compromise” to have her just be a regular bridesmaid). My “big” from my sorority will be my MOH and my fellow “littles” who had the same big will be my bridesmaids.

I reluctantly said she could be a guest at the wedding but not a bridesmaid (if it were entirely up to me I wouldn’t invite her at all, but that would cause more drama in my family than it’s worth).

I told them, “But what would other people think if she was seen with me?” She cried (she never apologized; she just thinks because it was so long ago I should let bygones be bygones because she was young and immature), and my parents agree with her.

But I had to be in therapy for years because of her. Why should I have someone as a bridesmaid who thinks they’re better than me?

4. Son Won’t Forgive His Dad For Breaking Their Deal

When I (17M) was 8, my parents bought me a piano and signed me up for lessons. I was super excited because I love music. Over time I kind of became known as the “piano guy” at school. I play at school concerts, accompany the school jazz choir, and play once a week for the residents at a couple of retirement homes in our town.

When I was 15, I started to talk about quitting lessons, and my parents quickly tried to guilt me out of it. I told them I wanted to try other things, and that between piano and studying, I didn’t have much time left for other extracurriculars. My dad proposed a deal. If I kept playing and taking lessons until I reached level 10 RCM (Royal Conservatory of Music), and continued to keep my grades up at school, he would buy me a new car of my choice. I jumped at it and we shook hands on the deal.

I should explain that my family is well off financially. I have a very privileged life, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been spoiled. If I ever want a luxury item like a new phone or game console, I have to buy it myself with money I’ve saved from summer and after-school jobs.

I should also explain that my dad’s big on loopholes. When we compete, he always finds a way to win, and when I do it doesn’t count because of some loophole. It drives me nuts, but he thinks it’s hilarious. Whenever I complain about him not playing fair, his answer is always the same: life isn’t fair.

So, because of our deal, I kept up with my lessons. I spent about 1-2 hours a day on piano, while keeping my grades up. Last summer, I took my level 9 RCM exams and passed, fulfilling my part of the deal. I told my dad I’d chosen the BMW X5 plug-in hybrid SUV.

A couple of months ago, on my birthday, I came downstairs for breakfast, and my dad told me there was a surprise waiting for me in the garage. I ran out, and sitting in the middle of the floor was a 1/24-scale, toy BMW X5. My dad burst out laughing and said, “A deal’s a deal, so as promised here is your brand-new BMW!” My heart absolutely broke. I asked if he was being serious, and he said I couldn’t seriously have expected him to buy a 17-year-old a real brand-new BMW and that we could discuss getting me a reasonably priced used car. I said we had a deal and I fulfilled my end of it; he said he did too since I never said that the car had to be full size and drivable. I said he wasn’t being fair. His response: life isn’t fair.

Ever since this happened, I’ve been distant with my dad. I honestly feel like he betrayed my trust and that he deliberately made a fool out of me. He keeps bringing up the idea of a used car, but I told him I’m not interested, which I admit is kind of petty. I have enough money saved that I can buy a cheap used car myself, and I just feel like if I accept one from him now it’s like saying that breaking his promise didn’t matter and that he didn’t do anything wrong. AITA?

5. They Asked To be Let Out Of The Car After Their Boyfriend’s Dad Turned On The Self-Driving Feature

I spent last night with my boyfriend’s family; we’d gone out to dinner and his dad was gonna drive.

So my boyfriend, me, his parents, and his brother all squeezed into his dad’s car and we went to the restaurant. I had a few drinks and his dad had two, since he was gonna drive.

But on the way back his dad started asking me, “You work on self-driving cars, yeah?” (I do; I’m a systems engineer…)

He started asking me how I liked his Tesla, and I joked, “Just fine as long as you’re the one driving it!” And he asked me what I thought about FSD [full self-driving], which he’d just bought. He asked if he should turn it on. I said “not with me in the car,” and he then laughed and asked how I was still so scared when I work with this stuff every day.

I was like, “Uhh, it’s because I…,” but stopped when he pulled over and literally started turning it on. I was like, “I’m not kidding, let me out of the car if you’re gonna do this,” and my boyfriend’s dad and brother started laughing at me, and my boyfriend still wasn’t saying anything.

His dad was like, “It’ll be fine,” and I reached over my boyfriend’s little brother and tried the door handle, which was locked. I was getting mad, and probably more so because I was tipsy, and I yelled at him, “Let me the f*** out.”

My boyfriend started trying to tell me to calm down because I was drunk and I told him that it didn’t f***ing matter, I’d be outta here sober or drunk. He told me to stop cussing in front of his little brother, and I told him to tell his dad to cut his s*** out and I wouldn’t have anything to cuss over.

His dad was like, “Fine, I didn’t realize it’d be suuuch a big deal,” and drove home normally, but things have been tense as hell.

We got back to [my boyfriend’s] house and he was mad at me for “overreacting” the first time I met his family all together. I got angry and was like, “I’m not the one who decided to do the ONE THING that I said I’m not comfortable with in the car, just after I asked him not to, to laugh at me.”

He said that his dad used the car a lot, and it was fine, and I asked him (since we’re both rock climbers) would he ever get on a route with his [carabiner] that doesn’t lock? What if someone says they do it all the time and it’s fine? He was like, “absolutely not, but that’s different,” and I was like, “It’s literally not, just like we don’t know any climbers who’d do that s***, nobody in my field that I know would stay in that car.”

He got mad and told me to go to sleep, I was drunk. But honestly, today I woke up sober and I stand by what I did, like I wasn’t comfortable with what was happening and my boyfriend’s family all laughed and started trying to do the one f***ing thing I said no to? Like whatever that thing is, it’s f***ed up.

for yelling at my boyfriend’s dad to let me out of the car?

Edit – I’m not trying to get into fights about who my favorite billionaire is or isn’t. Take that somewhere else if you want fanboy arguments. (Though for the record my answer is none of them.)

6. They Gave Their Mother-In-Law A Copy Of Her Own Key Instead Of The One To Their House

My hubby and I recemtly bought a new home together. His mom started pestering us for a copy of the key in case of an emergency. I told her about the rule we have… “only residents get to have a copy of the key.” She kept complaining and even got the family involved.

Last week, she demanded a copy of the key sent to her. I decided to grab the copy of the key to HER HOUSE that my husband was keeping for years and sent it to her with a note saying “only residents get a copy so this copy is for the home YOU reside in.” She was beyond livid about it. She told the family and I was called names. Now hubby is complaining about how I escalated and made a mistake by upsetting her further instead of just sticking to “no

7. They Didn’t Make Extra Pancakes For Their Niece

I woke up at 5 am craving pancakes while on vacation with my in-laws, so I decided to quickly make myself and my son some since we were the only ones awake besides my husband, who doesn’t eat pancakes. My sister-in-law’s daughter came downstairs just as my son was finishing up and started crying because there were no more pancakes for her.

I did try to comfort her, but I have really bad morning sickness after I eat and I was starting to feel sick, so I had to take her to her parents, who were still sleeping.

Long story short, my sister-in-law was upset I only made pancakes for myself and my son when there were others in the house who also needed to eat breakfast. She said I was selfish and I should’ve known my niece would’ve wanted some too so I could’ve made extra just in case.

8. Husband Offered To Help His Wife With The Dishes

My wife (26F) and I (26M) both work four days a week; I work 12-hour shifts and she works eight-hour shifts. She would work more, but our daughter (1F) needs to be picked up from daycare. I leave for work before they wake up and some days get home after our daughter has gone to bed.

This week, our daughter’s daycare provider was sick, so my wife took the week off of work to care for her. I worked an extra day to make up for her lost income, so it all worked out fine (or so I thought)

She seemed stressed still, so I asked her what was wrong. She broke down, saying that she is struggling with balancing work, caring for our daughter throughout the week, and keeping our house clean/cooking/etc. I responded calmly by saying that I can’t miss work or reduce hours. We simply cannot afford it.

She responded by saying she knows that, but it is overwhelming for her, and the house chores are piling up. I told her 90% of the problems with messiness could be solved if she picked up after herself – if she just put the used butter knives in the sink after she was done, and rinsed bottles/cookware/etc. I will happily do the dishes when I get home from work. Hell, I’ll even put them away after. But I do not want to play scavenger hunt and look around the house for things to wash.

She did not respond to me after I said that, other than a quiet okay before going to console our daughter, who woke up early from her nap. She still seemed upset with me still, so I vented to my co-worker about what happened. He says I was being an a**hole because I didn’t even listen to what she wanted. I feel like I was perfectly reasonable. Am I the a**hole?

9. They Wouldn’t Let Their Sister’s Boyfriend Use Hot Sauce

Every Sunday my family rotates who makes dinner. One day it’s my wife and I, the next time is my sister and her boyfriend, the next my mom and dad, and then finally my grandmother. With our busy lives, this day is important to us because besides holidays, we wouldn’t be able to meet up and chat or eat without it.

We come from an Italian family but are in Canada… I take my food very seriously, especially Italian food, and double especially because my nonna is eating with us.

I spent all day preparing dinner, and when we sat down to eat, my sister’s boyfriend is h[e]mming and hawing saying my meal is missing something. He said he needs hot sauce and starts walking to my fridge. All I have is Frank’s and sriracha. I like hot sauce, too, but I don’t dare mix cuisines like that.

So I stopped him, saying I’d appreciate if he enjoyed my meal as it is. He said it’s no big deal, and in a way it isn’t, but also in many ways it is. I told him at the very least, I have some Calabrian chili oil he can use, or dried chili flakes. Then it would at least still be Italian. He insists on sriracha, and I declined him.

He escalated it and said he was going to go to the store and buy his own bottle and return if that’s the case, and I said by all means. He left, we finished up dinner, and we called it an early night. Everyone is putting their coat and shoes on as he returns, and he’s p***ed.

Was I TA? My sister is on my side if it matters, but this has been a fight all day yesterday between them because he wants my sister on his side, not mine. They’ve been dating only three months.

Edit: If it matters, I made carbonara, bruschetta, and then for mains which he didn’t get to yet, was a seafood platter in red sauce. My wife and I are 34, 35, respectively, my sister and boyfriend are 23, 22, respectively.

10. Couple Asks Their Roommate To Keep Her Cat In Her Own Room

I (24F) live with my girlfriend (25F) and a roommate (23F). We share a two-bedroom apartment and have lived together for two years now. Up until now, we have gotten along pretty well.

My roommate has an elderly cat. The cat is honestly kinda mean; she doesn’t like me or my girlfriend and will run away if we try to pet her or pick her up. So we just avoid each other.

My roommate asked if we had cats prior to moving in because she said her cat “doesn’t like other cats.” We did not have any pets at the time so it worked out. We did tell her that we might want one someday, to which she said we would have to revisit the issue if it came up.

Well, my girlfriend and I have gotten to a place where we really want a pet of our own. We saw a kitten at the shelter and just fell in love with him. We got the okay from our landlord and brought him home last week! His name is Banana Pudding! 🙂

Our roommate is furious with us. She told us that we were aware that her cat doesn’t like other cats. I told her honestly that it’s unfair for us to have to tiptoe around her cat and that we were allowed to have our own pets as long as the landlord is okay with it (which he is). She couldn’t expect us to never get a pet or to cater to her cat’s needs 24/7. The conversation ended there.

Unfortunately things have escalated because her cat hisses and swats at Banana Pudding just for existing. She is honestly pretty aggressive, which is a big issue imo. Our kitten is very friendly and sweet and causes no problems.

We asked our roommate [to] keep her cat in her bedroom since she’s elderly and aggressive. She refused and hasn’t been speaking to us. She says we are huge AHs and even got some mutual friends to take her side. I personally think that if her cat is so aggressive and uncomfortable, it’s her responsibility to live alone. It’s gotten so bad that my girlfriend is crying and considering taking the kitten back to the shelter. So here I am to get an outside perspective because idk what to think now.